Even the most positive changes can be scary. Scary for you, and also scary for those you bonded with over mutual flaws. Misery loves company. Misery wants you to come out for a cigarette and a bitchy gossip session, maybe some negative self-talk while you are at it. Misery doesn’t like being left behind in a cycle of suffering while you sail off into the sunset.
When you take the plunge, quit the job you hated, start a regular positive habit, give up binge drinking, whatever it is, you are demonstrating strength, control and capture of your own potential. Bad habits are hard to break and comfort is hard to leave, particularly if anyone is pulling you back. Seeing real, tangible changes in you is a direct threat to the story these people tell themselves. Suddenly their excuses are not valid. If you can do it, they can do it and that scares the shit out of them. There is a chance the girl you spent the past two years whining about your evil boss with at the reception desk will be less than amped up about your new lease on life. On the other hand, you might light her fire and end up in the same yoga class in Costa Rica six months later!
When is it time to pull back from someone? Any resistance to positive changes or inability to ‘be happy for you’ should be a red flag. If your happiness causes distress, irritation, jealousy or sadness in anyone around you that can truly stunt your growth. Wistful desire for ‘the old you’ or constant recollections from a past you are no longer proud of and no longer represents you is disabling. Anyone who dwells solely and stubbornly in your past is unlikely to contribute positively to your future.
Friendships come and go, so do romantic relationships and sometimes family bonds. You can lead by example but you cant hold hands that do not want to be held. If you let them go the right ones will always come back to you as the old saying goes. For you though, there is now potential to supercharge your life by infusing it with people who set the bar higher. Something happens when you take control and change. Your vibration changes, your frequency changes and you start to attract and lock in with people existing on those planes. That stagnant, toxic space and the people that are happy to stay there are no longer yours or for you.